Mara protect us both
by Bottled green
Summary: A Nord and a Dunmer, a dragonborn and a priest. She is trying to accept her destiny and future, he is trying to make amends for his past. Thanks to a twist of fate they meet and continue together, discovering they have much more in common than they initially thought.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I started writing this story since there were hardly any stories out there featuring one of my favourite Skyrim characters - Erandur. I will use in-game quotes from time to time, to a limited extent. I'd love to see your reviews, of course. I hope you like it!_  
_

_I welcome you with open arms  
As a receit for feelings  
Floating sand through desert lands  
Like a million stitches in my skin  
No use to hide, no use to run  
I sacrifice my body  
I fear the snake's teeth, like a stranger's torch  
Enjoy what's - raging - left of me_

Diary of Dreams, _Wild_

Runa has been feeling restless for the better part of the day and gladly took the first watch when she and Erandur set camp for the night on their way to Whiterun. She felt nervous and anxious; although she tried to rationalize it convincing herself she was preoccupied with the threat of Alduin's return and how it cast shadow on her near future, she could not shake the feeling that this time it was not the reason.

She sat cross-legged next to the fire, her fists clenched, her mind uneasy. She tossed another branch into the flames – they rose higher, momentarily content like a dog fed a piece of meat from his master's hand, and cast more light on the camp. Runa's gaze drifted to her companion, asleep on the other side of their makeshift hearth. In his sleep, the cold, collected calm of Erandur's face seemed to gain a more serene touch to it. At least when dreaming, he was not plagued by guilt and self-loathing, she mused. He looked peaceful and content in his sleep.

Her own thoughts were in stark contrast with her companion's calm, her mind in an unrest, giving way to thoughts and feelings she was earnestly trying to ignore. She closed her eyes for a while, trying to discern when this started and her thoughts drifted to the memories of the day they met.

_It took her only a couple of hours of wandering through Dawnstar to understand that something was amiss in the snowy, northern town, perched on the shore of the Sea of Ghosts. Every single inhabitant seemed tired and once she started asking around, she quickly discovered everyone was plagued by nightmares, which was troubling, unnatural. Having suffered from night terrors often herself, Runa headed towards the local inn without hesitation as soon as she's learned about the priest of Mara who the people of Dawnstar trusted to help stop the stem of hopelessness invading their home. _

_When she entered the inn, she immediately noticed a figure sitting next to the fireplace, clad in Mara's priest garb. She slowly went in his direction and sat next to him on the bench. For a while he didn't try to break the silence and kept staring into the flames. Runa watched him in the flickering light; all she could see from beneath the shadow of the hood of priest robes was his mouth, drawn in a thin line over dark stubble covering his chin._ _She lowered her gaze and stared at his hands; long, elegant fingers clasped together on his lap were dark gray. A dunmer, she realized. _

_- I asked Lady Mara to send someone to aid this town. I wonder if this is you. - When he eventually spoke, it almost startled her. He had a deep voice, but it sounded hoarse and tired._

_She looked up and saw he turned his head her direction, his face now more visible to her. She cleared her throat before answering, taken aback by the intensity of his blood red eyes. _

_- I was just passing by – she said, a ghost of smile on her lips despite the situation. She never was one to believe in divine interventions._

_- What is happening to this town? – she added quickly._

_- The entire town is being plagued by horrible nightmares. – he stated - They're in serious danger but I'm afraid there's little I can do about it._

_- Do you know what's causing them?_

_He was silent for a while and she started to grow a little impatient._

_- These dreams are manifestations created by the Daedric Lord Vaermina. – he answered finally - She has an awful hunger for our memories. In return, she leaves behind nightmares, not unlike a cough marks a serious illness. I must end her terrible influence over these people before the damage becomes permanent._

_- Why haven't you done it yet, then? – asked Runa and kicked herself mentally as soon the words left her mouth. That sounded sarcastic, and she did not intend it._

_- I cannot do it on my own. I need to return to the source of the problem, to Nightcaller Temple. Perhaps you'd be willing to assist me in that regard? – he asked, sounding both resigned and hopeful. A curious mixture, she thought, not failing to notice his choice of words._

_- Return to the source of the problem? What do you mean by that? – she asked, her interest piqued, and saw his eyes widen. It was only for a tiniest fracture of second, but she saw it clearly. He did not mean to use that word and regretted it. _

_- I… I'd prefer not to go into details for now. I've already said too much. If anyone overhears what we're saying, it could start a panic. I would simply ask that you trust me and help me end Dawnstar's nightmares._

_Runa looked at him intently, but did not press the matter for now. The people of Dawnstar were in dire need of help, that one fact was clear. Moreover, she had always considered herself a good judge of character and something in him inspired trust. His eyes were intense, sad, the sharp features of his face frozen in a worried expression she recognized all too well, the face of a person forced to face a burden that was too heavy to be shared with a stranger. It was an expression she witnessed before on Kodlak's face and on her own when she stared into a mirror. She felt no deceit in the dunmer priest, although he was clearly not wishing to discuss something that apparently made him uneasy. She decided to trust her instincts and got up. _

_- Gather what you need and let's go see to this plague ended, then. – she said calmly._

_He looked at her, surprised, as if he expected her to leave, not agree to help him, but nodded quickly. _

_- Mara be praised – he said quietly, relief evident in his voice._

_On their way to Nightcaller Temple she asked him more about Vaermina and the temple itself, carefully memorizing every detail she could wrench out of him. They reached their destination in less than an hour. The broken, dark silhouette of the temple stood out in the snowy landscape like a bruise on pale skin. Even not being versed in the arts of magic, Runa could sense power emanating from the half ruined fortress. The priest warned her that long ago the temple had been raided by an orc war party seeking revenge for the same plague that was now taking its toll on the people of Dawnstar and that Vaermina's priests released the Miasma, a gas that had effectively put everyone inside the building to sleep. He was concerned that entering the temple might disturb Miasma's hold and even wake its victims._

_- Oh joy – muttered Runa, before she entered the fortress – More pleasant surprises._

_Inside, the priest went quickly towards the wall on the far end of the entry hall. Runa followed suit, watching as flames engulfed his palms when he opened a passage for them. She raised her eyebrow. No priest she met before was so well trained in destruction magic, but then again from what she knew, manipulating fire came naturally to the dark elves. Natural trait or not, he was no ordinary priest, which only confirmed what she has already been suspecting – that there was a lot he preferred not to tell her and now he seemed to know a little too much about the temple itself for it to be a coincidence. _

_Despite her earlier gut feeling to trust him, she doubted her judgment for a second, hoping the situation wouldn't end badly for her; then he showed her the source of the nightmare plague. As soon as she's seen the Skull of Corruption, she decided to put her doubts aside. This had to be stopped – the artifact was emanating power with such intensity that she involuntarily took a step back and felt the wave of nausea. The priest shot her a quick, sympathetic look, but seemed to be handling the Skull's ominous aura better than her._

_- We need to reach the inner sanctum to stop it – he said, before trailing down the stairs of the tower._

_Runa followed him, deep in thought, but they quickly encountered a barrier. When he stated that there must be a way around it and that he could find the answer in the nearby library, she finally decided she's had enough of secrets and grabbed his arm before he moved any further. He flinched slightly at her touch, but stopped._

_- I believe now would be the time to tell me how come you know so much of this place. – she said._

_He sighed, face filled with resignation._

_- I suppose there's no point in concealing the truth any longer. My knowledge of this temple comes from personal experience. I was a priest of Vaermina._

_Runa's eyes widened at his admission. She was expecting something of the sort, but it still hit her pretty hard._

_- And you were planning on telling me when? – she asked, trying to sound calm._

_His eyes stared back at her, his gaze now unflinching, hard._

_- And what would you have me say? – he spat - Sorry for following the misguided teachings of a mad Divine? Sorry for stealing memories from children? Do you realize when the orcs attacked, I was only concerned with myself? I fled... and left my brothers and sisters behind to die._

_Having said that, he grabbed her hand to remove it from his arm. Before he let her go, he squeezed her palm harder, almost as if he was seeking reassurance._

_- I've spent the last few decades living in regret and seeking redemption from Mara. And by Her Benevolence, I will right my wrongs. – he added and then turned around to lead her to the library. _

_Having fought their way to the library through awakening orc invaders and Vaermina's priests, they learned quite quickly about the Dreamstride, the way for Runa to enter dreams and travel in the physical world at the same time. Runa was wondering what in Arkay's name possessed her to trust the priest to such extent and let him send her on this mad dream quest from which she might have not awakened. Was that misguided heroism, aimed at compensating for her own sense of insecurity? Was it that strange feeling that he would indeed not let any harm befall her when she would be dreaming? Whatever it was, she took the plunge. _

_Fortunately it turned out her trust was well placed. The Dreamstride allowed her to travel within dark dreams of the past and bypass the barrier preventing them from entering the inner sanctum. She still remembered Erandur's face when they fought their way in only to be greeted by two old friends he left behind years before. His face looked stricken with shock, pain, regret and shame at the same time. _

_- Veren… Thorek… You're alive! – his voice sounded hopeful, although both of them knew this encounter had to end badly._

_- We're alive… No thanks to you, Casimir. – replied one of the men. _

_Erandur bit his lip and lowered his gaze to the stone floor._

_- I no longer use that name. I'm Erandur, Priest of Mara. – he said quietly._

_Both men looked disgusted with his words._

_- You're a traitor. You left us to die and then ran before the Miasma took you._

_Erandur's voice was a bit shaky when he responded._

_- No. I... I was scared. I wasn't ready to sleep…_

_- Enough of your lies! I can't allow you to destroy the Skull, Priest of Mara. – one of the men said firmly, his voice laced with hatred._

_- Then you leave me no choice – the priest stated simply._

_The fight that followed was short. Both men had just awakened from their long slumber induced by the Miasma and without their full power regained, they were no match for her blades and the priest's destruction magic. It was over before it really began. The priest lowered himself on his knees and flicked his fingers over the dead men's faces, closing their eyes and laying them to sleep from which they would never awaken. _

_- I... knew Veren and Thorek. – he said, raising from his knees, his voice small and broken, his gaze still fixed on the bodies of his former brothers - They were my friends. Is this punishment for my past? Is it Mara's will to torment me so?_

_Despite the fact that the priest deliberately kept her in the dark on his secret, Runa felt sorry for him. Her feet moved on their own accord when she came to stand close behind his back and placed her hand on his shoulder in a mute gesture of support. To her surprise, he put his hand on hers for a brief moment, before he finally raised his gaze to look upon the Skull. _

_- Please stand back. I need to call upon Lady Mara to break the Skull's hold over Dawnstar._

_She did as he asked, watching him chant his prayers to the goddess, red glow emanating from his outstretched hands. She braced herself against the wall when she suddenly heard the cold, feminine voice in her head, pleading her to kill the priest, trying to seduce her with promises of power of the Skull in return. Apparently Vaermina expertly wove the threads of nightmares and horror from within her realm, but she was no expert when it came to the feelings of a tired, reluctant dragonborn. Runa has seen her share of the killing for the day. She let the priest complete the ritual and Dawnstar's plague finally ended. _

_- Forgive me if I don't appear relieved... this temple has taken its toll on me. I'd constructed a meager shrine to Mara in the antechamber where we entered. My intention was to spend the rest of my years here, burying the past and praying for forgiveness. – the priest said when he led her back towards the entrance. _

_When they reached the entry hall, he stopped and closed his eyes for a while and Runa thought he might have been pondering on what words to choose next._

_- But instead - he said eventually - I wish to offer my services to you. If you ever wish to journey with me, I'll be here._

_Runa stared at him, a bit shocked. He wanted to follow her? Would she want that? _

_He looked back at her, hesitant, searching her face for an answer. She smiled. She has been given a second chance at Helgen, so who was she to deny him his?_

_- I'd like that. – she said and was rewarded with seeing him smile for the first time - Just tell me, would you like me to call you…_

_- Erandur is fine – he finished for her. _

Runa blinked, noticing the fire has almost died out. She tossed more firewood in and looked at sleeping form of her travelling companion again. She has come to trust him and rely on him greatly since that day they met at Dawnstar. At first she was glad she accepted his offer to follow because she felt he deserved a second chance. Then she saw how well their fighting styles complimented each other, her dashing forward with two blades and him casting carefully measured destruction spells from a distance, always there to guard her back. Even when he was switching from magic to melee, he quickly learned how to do it effectively without hindering her and standing in her way, for which she was grateful. In battle they were now acting as pieces of one well-oiled machine and reached a level of understanding she never experienced with any other person who travelled with her before.

It took her some time to realize that this understanding ran deeper than fighting and that she has come to enjoy having him around. Come to think of it, she also realized how quickly they started sharing comfortable silence, without any hint of talks forced by awkwardness. Erandur never seemed to speak out of turn and was rather silent, but after days spent at jarls' courts, she welcomed this change, happy not to be forced to speak; when he spoke, it seemed his words always conveyed a deeper meaning and he never used them hastily or without purpose.

Runa also liked talking to him and was surprised that she warmed up and opened to him relatively quickly. She still felt reluctant to accept her being a dragonborn as a blessing and had her fears that she did not like to share with anyone; she did not like it since everybody seemed to see the dragonborn before the woman and conveniently placed her on a pedestal. The dragonborn was supposed to be a heroine, a herald of hope, and neither heroines nor heralds had right to be worried. Erandur, on the other hand, did not mind her voicing what worried her, more than that, she felt he really listened. His silent acceptance was another thing that made her enjoy having him at her side; it was comforting and Gods knew her burden made her yearn for any shred of comfort she could get.

At this time of night, she would try finding comfort in her sleep. She got up, went to the other side of the fire and knelt next to Erandur. He looked so peaceful she felt reluctant to wake him, but she was tired and would need to regain her strength by morning. She held her hand out and touched his arm lightly. His hand grabbed her wrist in one swift movement; his red eyes snapped open and looked right into her, piercing as ever.

- It is only me – she said soothingly and watched him relax slowly.

- I'm sorry – he rasped, letting go of her hand – I'll take over the watch. Get some sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_Eyes that are gray  
Can't see behind the stains  
Of blurring stars  
And bleeding sun_

I wish I could stay  
Or silence the rain  
The solid bars  
Of all that's left undone

The White Birch, _Breathe_

They spent past two days in the Sky Haven Temple, having brought dragon bones and scales that Esbern requested. It was the first time Runa returned to the Akaviri fortress since she helped the Blades discover Alduin's Wall. She enjoyed the emptiness and calm of the Temple and liked talking to Esbern, but knew she wouldn't be able to stay long because of the other Blade.

Delphine. Runa admitted to herself that she tried to stay out of the woman's way during her stay in the fortress. Despite her earlier heated oaths to protect the first dragonborn to have appeared for centuries, the woman was making her feel uneasy – on one hand she seemed devoted to her, on the other - she kept scolding Runa for her lack of haste in following the lead that uncovering Alduin's Wall offered. It was late at night when Delphine cornered her again in one of the secluded chambers of the Temple.

"Dragonborn."

Runa winced. She didn't like being called that way and the woman's tone spoke volumes. She would be pressured again to make haste when she wanted to go her own pace.

"What is it, Delphine?" she asked, not looking at the woman and continuing to sharpen her sword.

"Have you already decided when will you consult the Greybeards on the information we discovered?"

Runa sighed.

"No, Delphine. My answer has not changed much since we spoke last… yesterday."

She heard the Blade's footsteps as she was coming closer and saw her boots on the floor next to her chair, but still she did not look up.

"You should not delay, dragonborn. It is most unwise with the threat we are facing." Delphine's voice was calm, but Runa could sense the traits of impatience.

"I am not ready" she replied, trying to keep calm "Would you have me charge headlong in a battle I'm not prepared for?"

"I would have you do _anything_ in this regard, but I can see my words keep falling on deaf ears. I hope you realize what your reluctance might costs us. Innocent lives are at stake." Delphine chided her and Runa's fingers tightened around the whetstone until she thought her nails might break.

"There is also another matter I wanted to discuss with you." added the Blade, oblivious of her discomfort.

"And what would that be?"

"Your… choice of company."

Hearing these words, Runa finally looked at the other woman's face, her eyes narrowing.

"What do you mean exactly? Out with it!" she demanded.

Delphine looked back at her with a steel gaze, seemingly not concerned with her sudden anger.

"Very well. The dunmer that follows you like a shadow – I don't trust him and I think neither should you."

"I don't care if you trust him, Delphine" Runa answered "The only thing that matters is that I do, and I am not asking your opinion." That sounded harsh, but she didn't regret it, she wanted this conversation over. Delphine, however, did not seem to take the hint.

"I have my sources" she continued "I know of his past. And what I learned is enough for me to say that it would be… prudent to send him away. He cannot be trusted."

Runa got up quickly, her hand on the hilt of her sword.

"You…" she said through clenched teeth "You will stop telling me what to do. I am not a child that you can order around and mold as you will so that I fit your idea of a dragonborn better."

Delphine tried to interrupt, but Runa shushed her with a quick movement of her hand.

"I am not finished. I am grateful for your assistance and yes, I am fully aware of the situation, contrary to what you may think. But I will not allow you to tell me when should I act or who to trust. I am leaving at first light. I will return eventually, I know I have no other choice, but it will not be at your bidding."

She started walking towards the door but stopped before she crossed the threshold.

"As for Erandur, I trust him far more than I trust you." she added before leaving.

Delphine stood motionless, her mouth slightly agape, listening to the fading sound of the dragonborn's footsteps in the hallway. She was angry, yes, but her anger was mixed with a hint of newfound respect for the young woman. She initially thought the girl was too weak and unfit for the task that awaited her and was wondering more than once what cruel sense of humor drove the Gods to bestow the dragon soul gift on one so young and inexperienced. Today, however, she felt a tiny spark of hope that given extreme luck, they might succeed.

All of a sudden, she heard the sound of rustling clothes and her head immediately turned in the direction of the far dark corner of the chamber. She noticed a glimmer of red eyes before she saw the priest of Mara step into the dim light cast by the fireplace and realized he must have been here the whole time and witnessed her conversation with the dragonborn, without any of them knowing.

"You…" she said in disbelief, surprised that one as well trained as herself could not sense his presence.

The dunmer regarded her calmly, his hands crossed on his chest.

"It is commendable that you wish to assist the dragonborn anyway you can, but I'd strongly advise against pushing her this way." he said finally "Runa is not the type of person that responds well to such treatment."

Delphine's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You speak as if you knew her well."

His lips crooked in a small smile.

"Apparently much better than you do." he went on "I would have you know that I understand your concerns. But I am no threat to her, of that I can assure you. I also want to assist her in any way I can."

Delphine's nostrils flared in anger. How dare _he_ lecture her?

"I will not trust the word of a former daedric priest who killed Gods know how many innocents without hesitation and drew even more to madness." she spat.

His smile faded in split second.

"I see you know much about me. Very well" he said, his voice still maddeningly calm "let me then rephrase my initial request. I will not allow you to push Runa to her limits and order her around like a dog. I will not stand idly by and watch you pressure her and try to burden her with guilt so that she rushes to meet her fate before she is fully ready to do so. I am far older than you… and know the likes of you. Given opportunity, you would separate her from anybody else so that the Blades become the only ones she trusts. You would do anything to ensure your cause prevails, not thinking of how it might affect her, but you wouldn't care, as long as the means justify the desired end."

"Are you threatening me?" asked the Blade, barely controlling her own voice.

"No, I'm not, not presently, at least." said the priest, completely unaffected by her anger "But since you seem to know so much about me, I'd advise you use that knowledge. I may be a priest of Mara now, but I am sure you know that due to my past I have certain skills… ones that I might use if I notice the continuous pressure you put on Runa starts posing danger to her. I will not let any harm befall her, especially not from misguided allies."

The woman suddenly remembered to blink, and her brow furrowed. Despite her anger she sensed there was truth in his words.

"You seem very… protective of her, elf. I can't help but wonder why is that?" she asked.

"My reasons are my own, _human_" he replied "and you're the least likely person I'd discuss them with." with these words he left the chamber, leaving the confused Blade to her thoughts.

At dawn Runa gathered her belongings and made haste to leave the Sky Haven Temple as soon as possible. She hugged Esbern as she grew to like the old Blade with his peculiar ways. She was surprised to see that Delphine only nodded to her and left without a word, but was grateful to be spared another sermon and guilt tripping. Outside she took a deep breath and felt that her burden became at least a bit lighter.

"Where are we off to next?" she heard a familiar, heavily accented voice next to her.

"Hmmm" she wondered, smiling at her companion "Didn't you tell me once you were curious about the Dwemer? I thought we might head to Avatz… Avachnzel to see about returning the Lexicon we got from that Argonian back at Riften and see what we can learn."

Erandur smiled at her attempts to pronounce the Dwemer name correctly.

"Very well" he said "let's do that."

"That's it?" asked Runa.

"What did you expect?"

She sighed.

"I had another difficult conversation with Delphine last night, she scolded me again for being reluctant. I have to admit, I almost expected you to do the same… Sorry."

"I will do no such thing." he assured her.

"Why not?" she asked, eyeing him curiously.

"I don't think haste is recommended in such a grave matter" he explained "And I believe that by admitting you are not ready yet you are showing wisdom rare in one as young as you."

She laughed.

"One as young as me? I guess I'll treat this as a compliment. Am I making you feel old?"

It was his turn to smile. He found her smile contagious.

"No, but I'm still considerably older than you." he said.

'_You make me feel younger than I have in years' _he thought '_But I am still so much older than you… If we're lucky, I'll see your quest successful and witness you die a calm death of old age.'_

This thought made him sad.

Avachnzel was a maze, its structure at least as complicated as trying to pronounce its name, at least according to Runa. It was the first time she has ever been inside a dwarven ruin and she had to admit that it was even more impressive than she expected. She kept looking around, amazed with Dwemer architecture and long forgotten technique that by far surpassed any accomplishments of the Empire in this field. But seeing the ghosts of former comrades of the Argonian who asked to return the Lexicon… that was creepy and took some time getting used to. It seemed that anytime she was getting more comfortable, the apparitions would pop out of nowhere to startle her with another display of their past endeavors.

They finally reached the Boilery and found the body of the last unfortunate adventurer. Just as she was nearing the pedestal where she assumed the Lexicon needed to be placed, she heard a puff of steam and watched the huge Dwemer centurion raise from the ground. It attacked with speed surprising for a construct of this size and it took a considerable effort to defeat it.

Runa looked back to check if Erandur was fine and saw him nod from the distance. She went to the pedestal and carefully placed the Lexicon in its niche. She waited anxiously, curious about what might happen, and was disappointed when nothing did. She started to turn around to voice her disappointment to her companion when a flash of light exploded beneath her eyelids, effectively blinding her. Her head hurt, and she fell to the ground digging nails in her own skin until she felt she drew blood.

And then it was only black. Black void and silence, and the pain was gone. Runa opened her eyes carefully, her breath still heavy from exertion. Her eyes widened in surprise as she watched her surroundings, untouched by the decay of countless centuries; it was almost as if she traveled back in time to witness Avanchnzel in its former glory. She looked around and found that she was alone in the huge chamber save for the motionless shape of the Dwemer Centurion she has defeated in what seemed only minutes ago. She shook her head and closed her eyes, but when she opened them nothing changed.

"There you are" she suddenly heard a strange voice, sounding deep like a hammer hitting the anvil, accompanied by scraping of nails on metal. She jumped, turning around to see where it was coming from and her eyes widened in disbelief as she watched the huge centurion move and walk towards her.

_I killed it _she thought, panicked.

Her first thought was quickly followed by another.

_It speaks. By Gods, it speaks._

"Ah, it is quite allright, little human" she heard the metallic voice again "I am not going to hurt you."

Runa watched the huge machine for a while, her mouth agape.

"What… what are you?" she asked finally.

The construct stopped and looked down on her.

"I am the Lexicon… you might say." it replied. As if it explained anything.

"What do you mean?"

The centurion laughed. It was a strange sound, chaffing of metallic plates interrupted by the noise of steam exiting its form with every move.

"Where do you think the knowledge of the Lexicon comes from? Did you think it was artificial?"

"No, little human" it continued "it comes from memories. MY memories, to be exact, back from the time when I was still alive."

"You are… a Dwemer?" asked the girl, curiosity dulling her fear.

The huge machine nodded. It looked peculiar.

"Yes, I am… or rather I was… countless years ago." it replied "My spirit lingers long after my body has turned to ash."

Runa pondered its words for a while before asking "Where are we, exactly?"

"And… how am I supposed to call you?" she added, albeit hesitantly.

"Let me start with answering your second question. In life, I was called Radac. As for the first one… it is difficult to explain. Let's stick to… let's say we are on the border where minds and essences meet, mine and yours."

Runa furrowed her brow.

"I'm not sure I understand, Radac."

The machine released a big cloud of steam and Runa supposed it was meant to be a sigh.

"Part of me remained in the Lexicon after it has been taken away from Avachnzel." it said "By returning it to its true destination, you restored my spirit to its full shape and connected to me. That is also the reason why you can understand my words."

"This body" it gestured to itself "was the only one available here for me to use so that I might give my spirit visual form and talk to you. I admit am curious, little human… the others who connected with me went mad, they minds incapable of containing my knowledge. What is it that makes you different?"

"I guess that might be… because I am a dragonborn?" Runa said, not sure if the spirit would understand.

"Ah! A mortal born with a dragon soul! Yes, that might be the reason!" exclaimed the centurion, its metallic voice even louder than before "The legend was present even during my age. Forgive my excitement, but you're the first one I ever encountered… it's most exhilarating! But as you appeared… it means that your world must be in peril?"

Runa bit her lip.

"Yes" she admitted "Alduin, the World-Eater, has returned. Apparently, I'm expected to stop him."

The construct bowed its massive head down in her direction.

"You seem awfully insecure, little human." it mused.

"Does that surprise you? I am a human, and Alduin is a dragon, a dragon that is thousands of years old… how can hope to defeat him? I don't think it's even possible!" she was surprised at her own outburst, but then quickly understood this thought kept haunting her for months now and it was only now that she finally acknowledged it. That she doubted the whole quest from the start.

"Years of wisdom do not necessarily guarantee success, little human" said Radac "not if you see our example… after all, we have perished, and the other races we considered inferior have survived, have they not?"

Runa pondered the Dwemer's words for a while.

"What happened to your race?" she asked.

"Ah" replied Radac "finally the question that must be troubling those who survived when we have not… The lust for power, the driving need to transcend mortality and borders set by the beings superior even to us… Gods, as you call them… that has become our undoing. Let it not be yours, little human."

The young woman looked at the machine before her, deep in thought.

"Unlocking your full power is necessary, little human" it said "But with that much power always comes a danger… the question is whether you are strong enough to carry the burden of your own potential."

Runa sighed.

"I'm not so sure."

The centurion emitted another metallic laughter.

"Certainty often leads to your own doom. I cannot erase your doubts, but I will help you as I can – by granting you part of my knowledge and experience. It shall make your mortal shell stronger in dangers you will be facing. Use it well."

Runa wanted to ask the Dwemer more questions, but did not have the chance to do so, surprised by another sequence of blinding flash followed by pitch black void. When she came to, she saw Erandur's worried face above her and realized that he was seated on the stone floor and her head was placed on his lap.

"Mara be praised!" he exclaimed, his voice relieved "You are awake! Are you allright?" he asked, his hand touching her forehead gently. It was cold, and felt good.

"What happened?" he asked "One minute you were at the pedestal, and the next you were on the floor, unconscious. I could not wake you. I was… worried."

In truth, he was terrified. When he knelt next to her, she was cold and he could hardly feel her pulse. He didn't know how much time has passed when he was whispering prayers to Mara and trying to sustain the motionless dragonborn with all his knowledge of restoration magic, cursing himself that it was not enough.

"I'm not sure what happened" Runa replied, feeling that no words she might use were sufficient to explain what she experienced "but I feel… better now. Stronger."

"Can we leave this place?" she asked "I would love some fresh air."

Erandur nodded and said nothing, but she felt his arm supporting her back as he helped her up. Before they left the Boilery, Runa quickly turned around to see the huge metallic shape of Dwemer centurion on the ground.

"Whatever you did…" she whispered "thank you."

* * *

A/N: I'd welcome reviews and constructive criticism, as it helps any writer develop their skills, be it professional one or occasional one like myself. I do not appreciate flaming though...


	3. Chapter 3

_Who could call my name without regretting  
who could see beyond this my darkness  
and for once save their own prayers  
who could mirror down just a little  
of their sun_

Katatonia, _Tonight's music_

Erandur was praying in dark hours of his watch when he heard a sharp intake of breath. He looked at Runa, worried, for her sleep has been restless for most part of the night. She sat up, gasping for air; she was looking around frantically and he saw her eyes they were shining with tears. Another nightmare, he thought. How painfully ironic, how unfair that she would save the people of Dawnstar from night terrors sent by a mad Divine and fall prey to them herself. After Avachnzel, she seemed a bit more confident, but the nightmares still plagued her. It worried him; ever since they ended Vaermina's reign over Dawnstar, ever since he so openly defied the one he used to worship, he was afraid he'd feel the tendrils of the daedric prince's presence again, although she has not made herself known so far. He knew Runa has been suffering from nightmares for years and that her dreams were not a consequence of his own actions but it did nothing to ease his anxiety.

He went over to her and lowered himself to the ground slowly, trying not to scare her more, and touched her arm. She almost jumped, like a frightened animal, but calmed down a bit when she recognized him. He started stroking her back lightly, feeling strange, out in the open, on a foreign territory. He had far more experience in inflicting nightmares on others, not trying to soothe their aftermath. His years in the service of Mara have not changed it – he was a stranger when it came to connecting with another. But this was her.

"It's allright, it was just a dream."

_Just a dream, _he thought bitterly. He didn't sound convincing, even to himself, but she seemed not to mind, grasping any strands of comfort he would throw her way.

„Just a dream, I know…" he felt her muscles were tense, her body was shivering.

„Do you want to tell me?" he asked quietly.

Runa remained quiet for a while, trying to suppress the shivers, looking into the fire as if she wanted to find answers burning among the flames.

„Him, again." she started hesitantly.

Erandur did not rush her, he didn't have to ask what she meant. What else could it be but the shadow that was looming over her existence, no matter how hard she tried to forget it.

„What if I am too weak to stop the tide?" she asked with a small voice and turned her gaze to him. It shocked him to see this much fear and doubt in her eyes. She was still affected by the dark visions she had seen in her dream and wasn't acting as usual.

„No one would hear it… How could I even say it aloud?" her words started flowing quickly, a feverish litany on her tongue "How can I… Who would they all turn to if I… Radac asked me if I was strong enough… to carry the burden of my potential. Am I… strong enough? Sometimes I just wish I could run away."

She looked deep into his eyes, her pupils dilated.

„Erandur…" she whispered „I'm scared."

Seeing her like this broke his heart. Ever since they met, he knew that although he was much older and experienced more of life, it was her who was his rock, her who gave him a second chance to make things better, her to always be there to reassure him. He was so stricken with guilt for his past actions that her surprising acceptance threw him off axis, but restored part of his inner balance. Most of the time he thought he did not deserve it; but sometimes he would hear the little voice in his subconscious, happy that she seemed content to travel with him, to prefer his company above others', so that he could have her undivided attention and acceptance. He basked in it, ever hungry for more.

Then it suddenly dawned on him that thinking that way he was no better than all the others who would happily place the fabled dragonborn on their shields and banners, weigh her down with the burden and hide behind her, behind the symbol, letting her carry the weight of this land's fate on her own. They have grown close in a sense of mutual understanding that he has not known for years, not since he left the Temple. He owed her something better than empty admiration. He knew she was strong, and if anybody could attempt to stop Alduin, it was her. He would need to find a way to help her, to stop leaning on her for support, to be her rock instead from now on. To protect her, so that she could protect others. To make her see, understand what a rare thing she was in this hopeless world.

Looking at her now he knew nobody else has ever seen this side of the dragonborn and it made him feel both honored and sad. The jarls, the Blades, the common folk, they would choose to see a strong willed Nord, a legend incarnate, gifted with ancient magic, someone destined to battle the dragons, to save innocents, to step into their songs. All this was true. But all he could see in this moment was a scared, young woman who was strong and honorable enough not to refuse her burden but was slowly being crushed under its weight.

„Come here" he said quietly, and slowly put his arms around her, bringing her closer until she was sitting on his lap. She did not resist, her form limp and shaking. It has been so long since he's been that close with anybody that he felt uneasy at first. No matter. She needed that, and he would oblige. She buried her face in his chest, one of her hands grabbing a fistful of his robe, her other arm encircling his waist. It surprised him how quickly his uneasiness passed, leaving only a conviction that it felt right. He placed his chin on top of her head and held her tight, wishing he could infuse her with strength through his touch, wishing he was skilled enough with words to tell her of the trust she inspired, of the feelings she was stirring in him.

„It's allright… It's allright, _neleth_… Only fools know no fear, and you are not one" he said quietly, not entirely sure if in her distress she would even register what he was saying "You are not alone in this. Never alone."

He felt her shivers subside, her fingers clenching and unclenching on the thick material of his robe. When she spoke, it was so quiet he could barely make out the words.

„_Neleth_? What does it mean?"

Erandur smiled. He knew her well enough to have guessed that she was already starting to feel ashamed for baring her feelings and would cling to the most remote subject possible to deflect it.

„It means wildfire, in the language of my ancestors from Morrowind" he replied.

Runa remained silent and suddenly he felt he needed to say more.

"You burn, so brightly in these dark times… you sparked hope in me, and it spread, it grew and couldn't be stopped, even if I wanted it to, it did not stop." he added, feeling his throat constricting in a wave of tenderness towards her that made it difficult to breathe.

He admired her courage, her honesty in admitting her own faults, her strife to become better. She was tender but her mind was sharp, she was willing to see good in others even though she was not naïve and has seen her fair share of what others were capable of. She was a fierce warrior. A dragonborn. She was all that; and right now she needed _him. _

She was silent for so long that he started to doubt his choice of words, wordlessly berating himself for speaking this way to her.

„Thank you" she whispered "for being here with me."

„No need to thank me. Try to get some sleep, I'll watch over you."

He finally felt her relax completely in his embrace.

„Will you tell me about Morrowind?" she asked, and he smiled again.

„Yes, I will."

Erandur kept his watch long after Runa finally fell asleep in the middle of his tale about Ashland tribes, trying to decipher his own feelings, and failing.

* * *

_A/N: It is close to impossible to find any information on dunmeri online, so with 'neleth' I simply resorted to using one of the dunmer names I could find as a common word.  
_

_I realise many authors here post song lyrics with their stories and it may seem pretentious to some, but I like sharing music that I listen to when writing... Also, my updates may become a bit irregular from now on as I am doing quite a lot of overtime at work - hopefully not for long. _


	4. Chapter 4

_I can take one day to achieve my goal  
Then it starts again  
In this circumstance that I call my own  
Dreams just don't deliver  
_

Paradise Lost, _This Cold Life_

Erandur sensed Runa was embarrassed about baring her feelings to him. He understood and did not try talking about it. He learned long ago that the people of Skyrim never liked showing their weaknesses, as they were taught since childhood that such behavior was not honorable; even if she did not want to admit it, the Nord ways helped shaping Runa into who she was today and ran deep in her blood.

They broke camp early and he wasn't surprised when she said Whiterun would be their next destination. She didn't have her own family and judging by what she's told him, the Companions were the closest thing to a family in her eyes. He suspected that after last night, she needed familiarity and sense of companionship that he wasn't able to offer.

On their way to the city neither of them broke the silence for other reasons than purely practical, but from the corner of his eye Erandur saw her looking at him several times when she believed he could not see her, her expression unreadable.

* * *

Whiterun amazed him. The busy city was so different from the calm, vast emptiness of the Pale where he grew up; it was a mixture of various scents, noises and voices. It seemed chaotic at first, but then he started noticing a pattern in how seemingly different pieces made the city unique and whole. It felt refreshing.

He remembered how Runa described Jorrvaskr, the mead hall of the Companions, but he thought he would have recognized it anyway. It was a sight to behold, the huge building shaped into a longboat, standing out in the city's architecture, yet not out of place; on the contrary, it seemed to fit its surroundings perfectly, giving the impression that Whiterun huddled around it in respect.

Runa led him towards the back of the hall. It was a training ground; he noticed mostly Nords, practicing with axes or greatswords, but also a dunmer wielding a shorter blade. It surprised him that being known for their pride and mostly keeping to themselves, the Nords would allow one of his kin into their most honored circle of warriors; what did not surprise him, however, was the fact that the elf was the first one to hear them approach. He sheathed his sword and walked casually towards Runa. He raised his brows noticing Erandur behind her.

"Good to see you back, Runa." he said, his lips quirked in a mischievous smile "Missed me and decided to drag another Ashlander as a reminder, eh?"

Runa laughed.

"Athis," she replied with mock seriousness "Nobody could ever replace you in my heart."

"Erandur," she said, turning towards her silent companion "this is Athis. When he's not busy beating the hell out of practice dummies preparing to be the new harbinger of the Companions, he sometimes finds time in his busy schedule to grace me with his friendship."

"Ungrateful Nord, be happy that no other here is witty enough to exchange more than two sentences with." said the dunmer, mimicking her mocking tone and turned his attention to Erandur.

"Greetings, brother. It is always good to see one of our kind, especially after spending too much time in the company of annoying Nords, just like the one you are so unfortunate to travel with."

Runa elbowed him in the ribs, still smiling, and Erandur couldn't help a chuckle that escaped him watching the two of them interact. He was also not blind to the fact that although Athis was a dunmer like himself, Runa was behaving completely different with him, compared to how she acted during their travels. He knew he and Runa were close and could be considered friends; last night was proof of the deep connection they shared. Yet with him Runa was more reserved and come to think of it, she almost never touched him. At first he thought it was precisely because he was a dunmer, a stranger of another race, but watching her so relaxed with Athis proved him wrong.

He didn't have time to ponder this any longer; a giant man came running towards them and crushed Runa in a hug that seemed strong enough to break bones.

"Farkas, let me down! You'll break my ribs" she shouted and hit his arms, but Erandur could clearly see that she was happy to see the man. For some reason, it made him feel awkward and uncomfortable.

The huge man, Farkas, smiled wolfishly but did not comply.

"Yes, little sister, this is my intention." he boomed "At least then you will be incapacitated long enough for me to enjoy your company, before you storm off again and disappear for months."

"I'm sorry I was away for so long, brother." Runa said "But I will stay for at least a week, promise. But only if you let me down!"

"Very well, but I'm not letting you out of my sight. No running away before you and I have had a good deal of mead." Farkas agreed, and finally let Runa down. He didn't stop smiling when he noticed Erandur standing close by.

"Sister," he said, voice full of mirth "Have you suddenly become so pious that you need a priest to accompany you on your travels?"

"This is Erandur." she replied "He is a priest of Mara, yes, but also a _very _skilled warrior, and my friend. In fact, I bet he is at least as skilled as you, brother." Hearing the emphasis in her voice, the way she immediately defended him though there was no need to, Erandur felt warmth spread inside him.

"My little sister, always the jester." Farkas said, but his eyes narrowed when he looked at Erandur, like he was measuring him.

The priest sighed. Somehow he felt it was going to be a long week.

* * *

Erandur was glad to see Runa happy among her Companion friends, but he felt uneasy around so many people crowded in a space that seemed too tight for his taste. He missed the open road. He talked to Runa quite often, but mainly let her be and enjoy her time at Jorrvaskr. He walked around the city, discovering new things - Gildergreen, the Skyforge, Dragonsreach – they all left him in awe.

After first encounter with Farkas, he was sure that it would be only a question of time before one of the Companions would want to test his skills in combat. To his surprise, it was not Farkas to challenge him, but his twin, Vilkas, a reserved, grim man whose appearance was the only trait he shared with his brother. He approached Erandur on the fifth day of their stay at the mead hall.

"I would spar with you." That was all he said, skipping any greeting, straight to the point.

Erandur shook his head.

"I will not fight you." he replied.

"Are you afraid of me?" asked Vilkas.

"No. Why would you wish to fight me?"

Vilkas chuckled, as if Erandur asked him why the sky was blue or why the Stormcloaks hated the Empire.

"There is honor in constantly testing and honing your skill. Have you no honor, elf?" he asked.

Erandur sighed.

"You do not insult me. Now leave me be."

"You want the truth?" Vilkas' face twisted in anger. "I want to see if you are to be trusted and the best way to know a man is to see how he fights."

"You follow my shield-sister," he growled "and I will not have a liability endanger her."

Erandur smiled despite the situation.

"You wouldn't have said that had you seen her take down a dragon. And nothing you say will make me fight you."

"Then you are a coward."

"I do not care what you think." _I only care what she thinks, _he added in his mind. This conversation was beginning to tire him, and he wished it to be over, almost as much as he wished to leave Jorrvaskr, to leave all of the Companions behind and wander across the wilderness of Skyrim, once again only Runa and him. He understood that their stay here was beneficial to her, but also wondered if it might have somewhat distorted the balance between them and found that he didn't like that thought.

Vilkas clearly wanted to retort, but a heavy hand that fell on his shoulder stopped him before he could say anything.

"Brother," Farkas' voice sounded reproachful, but gave away the man's amusement with his twin's futile attempts to engage the priest in combat. "Leave him be and come sparring with me."

Vilkas snorted angrily, but eventually allowed his brother to escort him out to the courtyard.

* * *

Runa was sitting in Jorrvaskr sleeping quarters, reading a book. She enjoyed reading - it was one of the few comforts she missed during her travels.

"There you are. I was looking for you."

Runa's head snapped up, she was so absorbed in her book that Kodlak's voice startled her. The old man smiled.

"I am glad he follows you."

"What?" her brow furrowed "You mean Erandur. Why would you say that? Do you think I cannot handle myself?"

"It is all too easy for me to read you, lass. I do not doubt your skill, though your reaction tells me you doubt it yourself." he said "I merely meant that your elven friend seems to be of good influence on you."

Runa smiled and her features softened. She closed the book and carefully set it on the table.

"You really think so?"

"You are different when you're around him – calm, more confident. That is good."

"You notice everything, don't you?" she asked.

Kodlak nodded.

"Aye. You've become part of this place, and I have come to understand you, although you come and go as you please and never stay for long. You are a free spirit and you feel you have not found your place yet. But Jorrvaskr has become one of the constant elements in your life…" he stopped for a moment, looking at her intently "and so has the priest of Mara."

Runa's gaze dropped to the floor.

"Yes" she admitted "he has."

"I can see the two of you have grown quite close."

"Yes, I guess we did. What of it?" she looked up, staring at the old man defiantly, remembering her last conversation with Delphine; her calm was gone and suddenly she felt on the defensive.

But Kodlak only shook his head.

"Nothing, lass." he replied "From his stance and the way he walks, I deduce that your friend is used to fighting and I can't help thinking that priest robes are like a second skin that doesn't truly fit him. He seems so overzealous in the worship of his goddess that makes me come to a conclusion that he believes he has something to atone for. Am I mistaken?"

"No" she whispered, but added nothing more.

"His eyes always follow you, even if you do not see that" the old man continued "He is rather protective of you. And if I am right about the darkness in his past… Everybody deserves a second chance, child, and finding someone truly loyal is a precious gift."

Runa visibly relaxed.

"Thank you." she said.

"Ah, but you are loyal to him yourself, lass." Kodlak said, his eyes sparkling with humor "Immediately ready to defend him, even if only from the words of another. You call some of the Companions friends, always eager to listen and help with whatever troubles them, but not so willing to share your own thoughts and feelings in return… Your face tells me that with him, it is different. And I sense the connection between the two of you runs deeper."

Runa looked at him; her mouth opened, closed, and opened again, as if she was looking for the right words to say. Kodlak lay his hand on her forearm.

"Don't overthink it. Let it go as it will and see where it leads you."

Runa's eyes were shining with laughter.

"I did not expect the harbinger to give me that kind of advice."

Kodlak threw his head back and laughed.

"You didn't think I've always been old, did you?" he said and winked.

"About second chances…" his voice changed all of a sudden, the smile wiped from his face by hesitation "I have a task that I would like to appoint to you, if you would bear with an old man who'd like to tell you a story and ask a favor."

Runa listened without interruption, her gaze thoughtful, as the harbinger told her how the curse that affected the Circle first came into being. She has never seen him so open before, but revealing his deepest fears did not make him vulnerable in her eyes. She understood what it meant to be afraid of your own fate. He was certain his beast was slowly taking over, and while old age slowly took him closer to his end, his fear of being forever doomed to Hircine's hunting grounds grew steadily.

She refused the wolf blood, even if it meant she wouldn't advance to become a full member of the Circle. Aela's disappointment stung, as did her sudden distance from the dragonborn. But when Skjor died, it was Runa that Aela turned to, even though she did not approve of her refusal of what she believed was the greatest gift that could be offered to a warrior. Runa agreed and helped her carry out the revenge, ignoring her conscience telling her firmly that bloodshed and death would lead to repercussions none of them could predict. But Runa felt sorry for the huntress, and part of her wished to erase Aela's earlier disappointment with her. She was now made aware that Kodlak knew about Aela's quest of revenge all along, just as she suspected, and his views on the matter mirrored hers.

She was surprised when the harbinger revealed that he had seen her face in his dream long before he met her, that in his dream she was the one to save him from his beast and help him reach Sovngarde, that he recognized her the minute she set foot in the hall of Jorrvaskr.

"Is that why you were so eager to recruit me?" she asked.

"Yes," he admitted "I would lie if I said otherwise. But I would also lie if I said I didn't notice your potential. Regardless of my reasons, you have only proved me right – you are worthy of being a Companion, if it still means anything."

She nodded.

"Thank you for being honest with me, harbinger."

She has never been on good terms with the gods and despite stories that every Nord child was told, she wasn't sure whether she believed Sovngarde even existed. But just as Farkas had been a substitute for a brother she never had, this old, wise man had been a substitute for a father that died too soon for her to have known him.

"I will help you," she said "I promise, I will do what I can to rid you of this curse."

She stayed with him for hours more, talking or just sitting in silence that none of them minded. She left at dawn, towards the Glenmoril Coven.

* * *

They were getting closer to Whiterun with every minute. As Kodlak wanted, Runa has disposed of the Glenmoril witches with Erandur's help but could not help wondering how the members of the Circle would react to the news that their harbinger would be rid of wolf blood and what would they think of the role she played in his recovery from the curse.

She stole a quick glance at Erandur; he was walking next to her, apparently deep in thought, his eyes set on the horizon, hand absentmindedly caressing the hilt of the blade she'd smithed for him, the blade he now preferred to his old mace. She kept looking at him and caught herself thinking she liked the way his dark skin contrasted the canvas of bright, morning sky, that she liked the way his hair was flowing down his back, that she liked the red hue of his eyes and how they shone when he talked about his goddess. She stumbled across a rock on the road and muttered a curse trying to regain her balance and not to fall to the ground.

She was steadied by a pair of strong, firm arms.

„Are you allright?

She looked up, saw his lips twitch in a small smile and felt herself blushing. What was happening to her? They have grown close, yes, but ever since that night when he held her, comforted her when she needed comfort so desperately, it felt like she was aware of him on a whole different level.

„I'm fine."

He nodded and released her, resuming his trek and she quickly followed, shaking her head and feeling irritated with herself. They did not speak until they finally reached Whiterun in the evening, but her mind kept replaying the events of that one night in a loop that made her wonder what was the true nature of her feelings towards her companion.

Nearing Jorrvaskr, she was torn from her reverie. There were signs of struggle everywhere in front of the hall, bodies spread on the ground, blood pooling on the stone steps. She ran towards Aela, who was standing nearby, her posture tense and predatory.

„Aela!" Runa shouted "What happened here?"

„The Silver Hand finally decided to attack Jorrvaskr" the redhead replied, her voice weary "Go inside."

Runa did as she was told, Erandur following her closely, remaining silent. She was not prepared for what awaited inside: blood, death and overwhelming aura of grief. She also did not expect being assaulted barely after setting her foot inside the building.

„YOU! Where have you been?!" Vilkas was furious, dashing towards her, his voice shaking with anger. She sensed instinctively that he was barely holding his inner beast at bay and backed away slightly.

„I was tending to the task Kodlak appointed to me… I had no idea they would come…" Runa held out her hands and spoke, trying to reassure him, to seem much calmer than she really was.

Her attempts clearly failed. Vilkas grabbed her by the neck, pushing her hard against the wall.

„I hope it was important" he spat "because you failed to be here to protect him! He is dead, and you were not here!"

Kodlak was dead? She felt a sudden wave of grief overtaking her, too shocked to defend herself. Then everything happened in a flash. One moment her shield brother was pushing her against the wall, and the next one he was shoved down the stairs, landing heavily on the floor. She turned her head and saw Erandur at her side, flames pooling around his palms, his face contorted in anger. He was gone from beside her in an instant when he started towards Vilkas who was gathering himself from the floor. Her mind replayed in a flash what the priest told her once.

_I've never admitted this before, but I've killed more than I care to admit. I'll just leave it at that._

Runa was torn between two feelings – fear for her shield brother and mute fascination when she watched Erandur, now fully understanding what he meant. During their travels, he followed her lead and in a fight he usually stayed back, supporting her with his magic. This was different. He was quick and efficient, not one move out of place, as meticulous in rage as he was with his words. Vilkas was a great warrior, she has witnessed his battle prowess herself many times, and it was almost eerie to see him on the defensive, not being able to react other than trying to protect himself from the blows he kept receiving from the dunmer.

Vilkas fell to the floor again. Erandur stood over him, his sword caught up in flames, pressed against Vilkas' throat, burning him and instantly cauterizing the cut that formed under the pressure of the elf's hand. He looked like embodiment of wrath, his red eyes blazing in the glow of his flames. Runa watched him, eyes wide, her mind stuck on one unconscious thought.

_Beautiful._

Vilkas' pained grunt brought her back to reality. She knew what he did was wrong, but she didn't want him hurt. He lashed out in grief, he did not truly hate her, he did not really blame her for Kodlak's death. At least she hoped so. Kodlak's death… it hurt. She has grown to love the old man, and she couldn't begin to imagine how his passing must have felt like for Vilkas who had known him almost all his life.

She walked towards Erandur, calling his name, but he did not react.

She reached out to him, wanting to put her hand on his shoulder, when he turned towards her, quick like a snake before it strikes, and grabbed her arm.

„ Erandur…" she said quietly, trying to ignore the pain when his flames crept on to the skin of her forearm. "Please, don't hurt him."

Runa saw Erandur's eyes widen in horror when he realized it was not another Companion trying to drag him away from Vilkas, that it was her. His gaze fell upon her burnt hand. The flames died out instantly and the sword fell from his hand. He let go of her arm quickly, almost as if this time it was him who got burned. There were marks on her pale skin, burns that were already starting to swell and ooze blood.

_I did that. _

He briefly touched her hand and muttered a quick healing spell that would ease the pain. He then turned from her and left the hall in a quick pace.

Runa started after him, but was stopped by a heavy hand on her arm. She turned to see Farkas standing behind her.

„Let him go, sis." he said.

Runa looked at him. As always, the man she treated like her older brother understood what she feared. People were often mistaking him for simple, and she was one of the few who knew how wrong they were. He was always sensing her moods, and was wiser than many gave him credit for. He put his arms around her and hugged her.

„Don't worry. He will come back."

Runa hoped her brother was right.

* * *

Evening turned into night and Erandur was sitting on a hill above Jorrvaskr, restless, not daring to venture any further for he would not leave Runa alone, but hesitant to go back either. He felt a wave of nausea and the familiar feeling of hate, only now it was directed at himself. He thought he found calm in embracing Mara, but this calm dissipated in one quick moment – seeing Runa in immediate danger from someone she trusted. In that moment, his calm was replaced by overwhelming anger, instincts kicked in and his control was shattered. In that moment, he felt fiercely protective of her, but even so, he knew he wanted to kill the one that hurt her. He was struggling to understand himself. It wasn't like him; even in the dark days of his past he would not let his emotions rule him to such extent, to shake him to his core, to blind him so. How well he did… He swore he'd protect her. He couldn't even protect her from himself. And now he didn't have enough courage to face her.

„I thought I'd find you here" he heard a deep voice "I like coming here when I want to hide."

Erandur looked in the direction from where the voice came from, and saw a huge man standing few steps from him. Brother of the one that he almost killed. His muscles tensed, anticipating the attack. It never came.

„I'm not sure you want to know my opinion" the man started "but I think you did right to beat the crap out of my brother. He shouldn't have treated Runa this way. He was hurt, but this is no excuse."

„It was darn impressive, by the way" he added, his lips crooked in a small smile.

Erandur looked at the man, Farkas, if he remembered correctly, in complete surprise. The man's smile grew wider.

„I would have gotten to him myself, had you not beaten me to it. He will come around and understand, and they will make amends. So should you."

The priest shook his head.

„I hurt her."

„You protected her. Vilkas was barely controlling his beast; it would have surfaced in a matter of seconds and she was too shocked to defend herself. Gods only know what would have happened then. If he hurt her, Vilkas would hate himself. So in a way, you protected them both."

„I _ burned _ her!"

Farkas sighed.

„My sister is not an idiot. She knows what you did, and why. She is not angry with you. She is now sitting there as I left her, trying to play brave and in reality afraid that you left her alone and you will not come back. So I was thinking… you either go to her yourself, or I'll haul you inside on my back, no matter how much you resist."

They stared at each other for a while, before Erandur eventually got up and headed towards Jorrvaskr. Farkas watched him go, still smiling despite all the grief that fell upon Jorrvaskr that night, thinking there were still things strong enough to dull the pain and lift the veil of sadness.

Upon entering the hall, Erandur still had no idea what to say, how to apologize to her for what he did. He saw Runa sitting in far end of the room, staring into space, deep in thought, her face worried. She turned her head in his direction when she heard the door close behind him and immediately ran in his direction; she grabbed his forearms in a vice grip, holding him as if she was scared he'd leave the very same moment. She hid her face in the crook of his neck.

„I know what you are thinking," he heard her say "Don't. Just… don't."

His fingers locked around her arms just as fiercely, mirroring her gesture, and they remained motionless for a long while.


End file.
